Here there and everywhere…

New encaustic painting.

I call it,

Red fields with big yellow blobby flower things.

IMG_3366

I’m still working on how I can get rid of the wax fumes. Yesterday I tried using a fan to blow the smell away from me, but the air just cooled the wax and I couldn’t use it properly. I’m thinking an extractor fan would be best, but then just how many extractor fans does a girl need.

I need a room that IS an extractor fan. Now that’s a thought waiting to happen.

I find the whole encaustic thing a bit messy which is saying A LOT coming from the messiest person alive.

How did I get to be so messy? We may never know. Sometimes I can barely move around the studio. I went in there once or twice to clean up when my dad and sister were here, but had to walk out again as I was immediately overwhelmed by it all.

I do try to put everything back as I use it on the jewelry table. And that works great until I get carried away with what I’m making and it all goes to pot.

Too easily distracted is my theory.

I’m going to have to stop reading the news. It’s too depressing. I’m sitting here already having a little moment after reading about Gaza, and the children, and the airplane people, and all the terrible things happening around the world.

I’m thinking there should be a news channel with all good, positive news. I don’t mean sappy, puppy articles, but real, look what’s happening over here to fix things, and see, it’s working, articles.

But then what would happen to all the bad stuff. We can’t ignore it.

Yesterday I went to a local ministry to see if I could volunteer for the food bank place. I’ve been building myself up for it for a while now because I didn’t really want to get involved with all of that church stuff, but it’s definitely time to get over myself.

I was amazed that I hadn’t noticed the place before. I drive past it often. It’s right there on the road, and it takes up a whole strip center. I walked into the back office thinking it was just going to be food and resale, but there were loads of people in there waiting to be helped in terms of finding jobs and getting help with food and bills etc.

I felt so ashamed that I didn’t know.

Of course we all know, but going into the place just made everything real.

There were real people in there waiting to be helped, and here I was just driving past them every day.

I spoke to the volunteer woman, who told me that the food bank always has loads of volunteers and that no one was going to be moving from that part of the ministry soon, but I realized then that I could volunteer in many other departments.

I felt good about it, but then I went to bed and woke up a 3 a.m. worrying about all of the people, what I would have to do, would I be able to do it, would I want to do it, and if I did do it, would I be shot doing it.

Because obviously these people who have nothing are angry and resentful and violent.

Then I lay awake for the next hour or so feeling even more ashamed of myself that I could think so little of people, and so much of myself.

Sorting cans at the back of the food bank seemed so safe in comparison to actually meeting real people.

So now I’m waiting for them to call back to schedule a tour and orientation. That’s the problem really, I needed to just start right in. Apparently they need to vet their volunteers first though. Seems a bit harsh.

I’ve tried volunteering before. I worked at the local hospital once, but that didn’t go down well with my hypochondria. I always came home with some new disease or condition. I had to give up reading Susan Hill’s Inspector Serrailler books for that reason. His sister was a doctor. I could handle the murders just not the side stories where the doctor had to deal with illnesses I’d never even heard about. Kind of spoiled the whole head chopped off with an axe part for me.

And that’s my news for today. It’s all a bit of a waffly, a bit sad, a bit dreary kind of a day. P’s gone to San Diego, or somewhere that starts with a S. He’ll be back later so that’s o.k., and I’m going to see what else I can do with the fan so that I don’t have to die sooner rather than later because of the old wax fumes.

I’ll figure it all out one day.

Advertisements

About coldfeetstudio

I am English, but live in Houston, TX. I have a degree in Sculpture. I love to make art. I sell my art for charity as I believe there should be no reason for someone to go hungry in this world. I am a wife, mother, pottery maker, jewelry maker, quilt maker, painter, cat lover, and, dog liker. And I am very fortunate to be all these things. View all posts by coldfeetstudio

15 responses to “Here there and everywhere…

  • Nancy King Cornett

    Dear, sweet Deborah – I feel your pain, relate to it, and wish I could take it away. I while ago I came up with some helpful ideas about this line of thinking and the subsequent beating up of self that inevitably follows. I’m not sure if it would be of any help to anyone besides the few folks running around in my own brain. But if you have any interest in a chat about it I’d be happy to continue this in an email or something like that.

    I guess the best I can do now is a little good news. Well, it’s good news to the aforementioned few folks running around my brain. I finally got my web page ready for public viewing – day 1 is today. If you have any interest in checking out what keeps my running folks busy you can stop by either of these links sometime: http://www.ausabledesigns.com OR http://www.nancykingcornett.com

    By the way – your encaustic work is really coming along! Maybe the fumes are helping?

  • Nancy King Cornett

    Oops – maybe I should have been more clear. The “line of thinking” that I was referring to (in the comment above) is the worrying about those who have less and then feeling guilty about what we have – and that we don’t do more. It wasn’t about the hypochondria and melted wax fume sniffing. Heck, those sort of things make life more interesting :)

    • coldfeetstudio

      I love it that you have folks too!

      I’ve been over to your blog and checked out all of your goodies. I’m actually going to go back there now as I didn’t have much time earlier. Glad you’ve got it underway :) I find writing mine is really helpful with figuring out what I’m doing, hence today’s post. I don’t usually get that involved with those thoughts as they can be a bit of a downer, but once in a while it helps me to sort it all out. I am going to lighten up on the news, however, for my mental health ;)

      I probably just need a bit of a reality break. The fumes should come in handy there lol

  • Corinne

    I love reading your blog because you seem to have all the same foibles and insecurities as I do – LOL – and I live far away in Australia! Just shows none of us are very different from each other doesn’t it. About extractor fans: I have an article somewhere about setting up an inexpensive extractor system. I’ll dig it out and see if I can either send you a link to it or copy it and send it to you somehow.

    • coldfeetstudio

      That sounds great. P did try to make me one last year, but I had to break down and buy one as the one he made had holes in it and so no suction! I can’t keep lifting my jewelry one over to the wax bench though, so maybe I’ll have him have another go. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled lol

  • dicklespot

    I completely relate to bad news overload and feeling like I should do more. Good luck at the food bank!

    By the way, big yellow blobby flowers are my favorite.

  • Greer - Vintajia Adornments

    Absolutely over the constant and ongoing barage of media bad news, and bored with the Commonwealth Games.
    Good onya for volunteering The first step is always the hardest.
    Turn you fan so that it blows away from you (preferably towards the window)
    should help with the fumes

    • coldfeetstudio

      I haven’t even watched the Commonwealth Games. I don’t think we get much coverage of it here in the U.S. I’d probably be watching it if I were at home though. I found a better place for the fan today. I had it pointing away from me before, but it was cooling down the wax. I’ve just decided that I won’t work on encaustics all day, that way I’ll give my lungs a break. I’m just going to go back to your blog to check out your metal table again :)

  • Sally G

    I manage to avoid days like you’re having by feeling really, really grateful for the privileged life I live. And by “privileged life” I mean all my basic needs are met, including the need to feel safe. That way I make my own good news.

    Keep painting. I think that’s good news too.

  • Beth

    Try water based materials for creating, then there aren’t any fumes. There is help everywhere for people, but we need teach others to help themselves to feel they are worthy. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day, so teaching a person how to fish takes time, and it will feed them for a lifetime. Our lives today are fleeting away too fast for our souls to take in what is necessary to live. It takes time to realize what we learn as we journey through life and today’s society doesn’t see what it is missing.

    • coldfeetstudio

      Don’t think the wax likes water, and I haven’t finished working my way through the technique yet. It is such a fluid, and interesting medium. There are ways to avoid the fumes, I’m still experimenting with the best ways to do it :)

      Also, did you know that I was a tad melodramatic ;)

  • Fresh Baked Designs

    Besides food and shelter, others need to know that someone cares…
    You do and you’re taking the next step. Love and caring are action verbs.
    Best wishes!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: