Tag Archives: anxiety

Working on another one.


I am getting closer to finishing one. Really I am.

Right now I’m concentrating on putting chains on my pendants, but deciding on the length of chain causes me anxiety.

Maybe that’s why I’ve gone into a decline.

Too much worry.

So I leave it, and now I have five hundred and sixty three thousand necklaces to finish before the art festival in May.

I wanted to take some of my paintings to the show as well, but that’s giving me anxiety also.

I suppose you could say that I’m a bit of an anxious person really.

Not sure though.

More tea Vicar?

So I woke up this morning thinking that I’d got it all wrong and the art festival was today after all.

Well, I’d be a bit late that’s for sure.

It all started because, for a month now, I kept telling myself, and everyone else, that the show was going to be on the 27th, but then I got my acceptance letter and it said it was on the 5th of May. Of course, because I just knew they’d messed up, I still worried that it was on the 27th. Yes, I did go to the, maybe they’re trying to squeeze me out by giving me the wrong info, place but, only for a fraction of a small paranoid moment, and then I told all my peeps that the 5th it was.

However, panic set in as I sat here this morning, drinking my tea, thinking about life, the universe and everything, and how much jewelry I have hanging around yet I can’t seem to stop making it, and how on earth will I ever get rid of it all, and will the finale of, The Following, be as good as we expect it to be or just another false alarm, when suddenly I just knew the festival was today and I’d blown one of my only chances to sell some of the darn stuff.

Yes, I only do one festival. Time to re-think that now that I’m a recovering super-chicken.

This, and the bizarro dreams, has led me to believe that I may, perhaps, just a smidgen, most likely have a little, (like this much         ),  anxiety problem.

Me thinks more tea is in order.

Poster Pop on Etsy

Poster Pop on Etsy

Don’t worry, I checked and it is the 5th.

I’m drinking my tea right now out of this,

Magpie Pottery

Magpie Pottery

It’s my new favourite. The size is perfect, the rim is the optimal thickness, it has a pleasing shape, and, most importantly, just look at that bird. As we all know, these are exactly the requirements needed for great tasting tea.

Yesterday I cleaned the studio even more than I did the last time by getting out the little blue shop vac and actually vacuuming the floor. Man it was bad. First I had to vacuum the filter of the vacuum. It was so chocked up with stuff from previous, garage related, vacuuming that it wouldn’t suck up a feather. So I got out the big orange shop vac and vacuumed the insides of the blue one. It was kind of like a dad giving his kid a good once over before sending him out into the real world. I have now decided to keep the little blue one for myself. P can have the big one. I haven’t told him yet as I know he’s very possessive of his ‘toys’.

Then I made this.


with green t-shirt on!


Now, this may not sound extraordinary to you, but to my close peeps, this is huge, right? And, yesterday it was a dusty red one!

Perhaps this is why I’m having the, (this big          ) anxiety stuff going on right now.

Maybe it’s back to black today.

Which leads to ….

For your entertainment.

O.K. so perhaps the whole funeral thing isn’t that entertaining, but it’s still good.

Happy Friday people.


(N.B. So, it’s Saturday. See, anxiety right there ….)

Life as I know it.

Last night Robert Downey Jr. looked away from me with abject disdain because I failed my history exam. He was my professor, I was at university, and, for the second year in five, I had flunked my exams because I hadn’t been to class, read the books, written the essays, etc. etc. etc. Same old, it’s too late to fix it, scenario.

And that, people, is what watching the Iron Man 3 trailer can do to a fragile mind

You have been cautioned. Watch at your own peril.

So we went to see a movie, and as no one could make up their mind between – aliens, bank robberies, terrorist or the tried and true psychological thriller, we let P decide, and terrorists it was (see here). (I would have gone with the psychological thriller, but that’s just me). I enjoyed it insofar as it satisfied my need to beat the c*^p out of something, but really, the whole time I was in the cinema I felt really anxious. Was the guy sitting next to me – the one with the creepy, fired up body language – going to get out his gun and shoot us all. I’d be the first to go of course, and I still have to fold the laundry – so unfair. Because that happens now, and when we go to see these movies that get us all riled up and defensive I really believe it changes us. Even I don’t want to buy a Kia now because we have to shun Korea (O.K. so Kia is South Korean, not North but you get the point). Just in case you didn’t, the point is – what’s that about! It’s not cool is what it is, and it’s not the someone I want to be, but it creeps up and gets us, and before we know it we’re those people we don’t understand. You know, the ones full of hatred and fear and anger.

And then there’s the, let’s get a quick laugh in, lame jokes while our heroes are standing over the wasteland of (their own) dead people. I don’t know, but to me that just seems to make a mockery of – well, humanity really.

I don’t usually feel this way. I enjoy a good, beat ’em up, action movie as much as the next person, but I did wonder if we wouldn’t benefit a little more from watching a multicultural drama that perhaps showed more of our traditions and way of life so that we could better understand each other rather than the same old, us and them, storyline. The world’s a pretty interesting place after all.

Perhaps I’m just getting old. Man! Just another thing to add to my Monday woes …

O.K. shake it off people. Time to lighten up.

Update on the painting.

Old one finished.


O.K. now that I’m looking at it here – what are those love hearts doing? They need to get out of there quick before I go over to the other side completely, and those two houses down bottom. Hideous.

Did I ever mention I have trouble finishing anything? Or liking it come to that.

Here’s one waiting for its next step.


Let’s see how long it takes to ruin this one.

And here’s that one I started a couple of days ago.

It’s kind of in its, naaah, stage. Like – what exactly was you aiming for with this one?


And here, we have the beginnings of a new one.


Is it time to throw away the brushes again, is my question.

So, today I am going to clean all my jewelry in preparation for the upcoming art festival.

How ’bout you?


Strange how sometimes something pops up when you’ve just finished writing your, moping about wallowing in the negative, blog post that’s just the ticket.



I want to –

Paint soooo much, but I just canny do it capt’n.

It’s my most worrying thing to do.

Sometimes I ignore it and just don’t look over at that whole other side of the studio, you know, the one with all the exciting colours patiently waiting to play.

But, I know it’s there, because it’s niggling a hole in the side of my head.

So today I’m going to get to it – it’s going to be a painting day.

(I think).

Lighten up girl. Inspector Lynley is still half heartedly trying to solve the graveyard murder, which is a convenient place to get murdered in if you ask me, and as I only listen to the story when I paint, he’s pretty much been dragging his heals over the whole thing.

It’s time to put a stop to this story before anyone else gets hurt.

Actually, I’m not really enjoying it, it’s more something to listen to really. It does kind of take the painting anxiety away a little by dragging me into it’s (boring) drama, a bit like taking a xanax really, although it’s been going on for so long now that if someone doesn’t tell me who did it soon and explain to me how the whole little sub story about the toddler murder fits in to the thing, someone is going to hear about it.

So I’m off out now to paint and listen. I’ll let you know how the whole sorry mess turns out … if it turns out.

A little something for you to mull on while you wait.


Come on. You know you want to try it, if only to laugh out loud because you knew it wouldn’t work even before you tried it.

The clue here is (repeat if necessary), although the whole fizzy science experiment thing does sound rather exciting.

%d bloggers like this: